Just Dance

Lately I’ve been on an extended vacation in Shittymoodville. Here’s the thing about Shittymoodville, it’s not a fun place to be. There’s an unexplainable foul odor lingering in the air, the sky is permanently heavy with a grey fog, the fellow occupants of this town are particularly surly, and the longer you’re there, the harder it is to leave. You just get stuck.

In general, I’m not the world’s most patient person, so you can bet money that I have little patience for riding out crappy moods. I’ve tried everything to expedite my departure from past pit stops at Shittymoodville- wine, girl’s night out, meditating, wine, sappy movies, funny movies, scary movies, wine, hot baths, rereading my favorite books, googling pictures of Tom Hardy holding a puppy, WINE- but so far only one thing is truly effective, and since holidays can be a stressful time of year and lead many others to Shittymoodville, I thought maybe I would share this breakthrough…

Dance. It. Out.

I’m sure if you know me, or have read past posts and seen my affinity for dancing gifs, you know I am a booty shakin’ fan, but just trust me on this, dancing is a first class ticket out of Shittymoodville. It really is just that simple. In a funk? Get up and dance. Do it for 15 minutes. Put on some music, gulp a glass of wine first if you must, and just DANCE. Go see a jam band and do some Dave Matthews moves, go do a pole dancing class, a zumba class, a tap class, hell, just go to the club and twerk it out. tumblr_mtk0w8QqlY1rp68cjo2_250I’m telling ya, just move your damn booty for awhile and tell me you can’t feel the funk fading away. A particular favorite pick me up of mine is Billy Blanks Jr (yep, son to Tae Bo guru Billy Blanks, so you KNOW he’s good!) and his Dance Party Boot Camp. If you can get your hands on it I highly recommend you skip to the last workout in which he gets your heart pumping by dancing to gospel. Yes, gospel. Talk about mood enhancer!church-lady-live-gifI know, I know, dancing around your living room like the Church Lady to some gospel on a workout DVD sounds ridiculous. But, you know what? When it comes to dancing it out, the more ridiculous the better. Whether you’re at home or out in the club, you don’t have to look good, you don’t have to look sexy, hell, you don’t even have to have rhythm. All you’ve gotta do is shake what you’re momma gave ya. The times I’ve felt the best after a healthy dose of dance therapy was when I closed my eyes, let the music move through me, and just did like that good ol’ cliche told me and danced like no one was watching.elaine-dancetumblr_mic2yg7l2j1rw32xuo1_400

Some may laugh at my methods, but I 100% know I will have met my true love when he too believes in the power of dance therapy and, much like gangs in 1950’s era movies, we dance out all our fights thus keeping us from booking a couple’s retreat in Shittymoodville.44499-Jennifer-Lawrence-Bradley-coop-z1ns

So dear readers, throw on your Richard Simmons shimmy shorts and shake it out. Shake out any stress or sadness or seasonal depressions that are getting you stuck in Shittymoodville.

And, if I’m wrong and that doesn’t work for you…here’s a picture of Tom Hardy with a puppy, just in case. tom-hardy-puppy-3

The Most (Un)Wonderful Time of the Year?

Y’all, being single doesn’t REALLY suck. I mean, it’s not always ideal, and for some people it’s a fate worse than death, but for me, it’s not that bad. There are worse things in this world than being single, like being stuck in a dark cave listening to a never-ending playlist of Nickelback, Creed, and Rascal Flatts (apologies if those are your favorite bands. Seriously, apologies to your ears.). If you have good friends and good family and lots of good activities to keep your social life busy, being single just ain’t all that bad. Except for on one occasion… HOLIDAYS.

I have a feeling a lot of non-single people are going to disagree with me on this one and be like “But Thalia, you just don’t realize how easy you have it! No dealings with in-laws and kids and trying to fit in his family’s Thanksgiving and your family’s and figuring out what to buy him for Christmas, etc, etc, etc.” All valid points, I’m sure, but if that’s the case then all I have to say is feel free to get your own blog to write about those complaints, because I ain’t tryna hear it, ya heard?

Here’s a few reasons why holidays are unfriendly to the singleton:

Office Parties
When I started working in the corporate world nothing excited me more than the possibility of a big, fancy holiday party. And boy did I get everything my heart desired when I attended my old company in Denver’s holiday bash. It was at a hotel, it was swanky (I got to dress up for once!!!), the food was amazing, the bar was OPEN, there was good music, and we even got discounts on posh rooms overlooking downtown Denver with late check outs and spa services. When I heard about this wonderfulness I had visions of eating good sushi and drinking good wine and stumbling up to my room with my dreamy date, but soon realized taking a casual date to a company party is tantamount to introducing them to your family. These are the people who see you more than your family. Think your aunts and uncles can embarrass you with stories?! Just wait til your coworkers get a few in them and start rambling on about the time you burst into the wrong conference room and in an attempt to make a hasty exit, fell smack on your face through the doorway. No, casual dates are not the way to go at corporate functions. So it’s either significant other or stag. Don’t get me wrong, I still had fun when I went stag, but let’s just say I didn’t end up cuddled up in a plush king sized bed with room service breakfast. Nope, instead I got tossed a few pity slow dances from my supervisor’s husband and then ended up drunk and shoeless, dancing in a gay bar.

Holiday Cards
Now, friends and family reading this, please know that I LOVE receiving your cards. It’s just there’s no better way to be reminded of your singleness than being presented with card after card of “Look how adorable my significant other/kids/animals and I are!” A coworker suggested that I pick out a few favorite pictures taken over the year, because it has been a huge year for me, and making a collage to send as my card. I considered the idea, found some cute pictures taken at concerts, ballgames, girl’s nights, and on my trip abroad, but I soon realized every single picture included me holding a beer. Or a glass of wine. Or a WHOLE BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE. “Yes, friends and family, you may have adorable children, but I have BOOZE!” I am guessing this isn’t what’s meant by holiday “spirit”…

Family Get Togethers
Another pitfall of being single is going solo to family functions. I know, I know, family gatherings don’t scream “date night!” But, at 30 I have yet to spend a full holiday with a significant other and my family. This bums me out for two reasons: 1) My family has fun on holidays and it’d be pretty swell to share the eat a little too much, drink a little too much, get a little too loud while playing games-ness of my family with someone and 2) I am the ONLY single person in my family. Well, this isn’t technically true. Everyone under the legal driving age is single. And me. Me and the kids. Yep, even people younger than me are married with kids now. Imagine how much fun that is! Props to my family though for not really being one of those “When are you finally going to find someone?” types of families because I’ve seen my friends suffer through that horror and am pretty happy to not be subjected to it (much).

Presents
It’s no secret, I LOVE getting presents. (But really, who doesn’t?) But here’s the presents part of the holidays that makes me bummed to be single- giving gifts. I know the present part of the holiday season tends to stress a lot of people out, but not me. I am a gift giving genius when it comes to significant others. Seriously, I’ve gotten pretty damn good at it. When I’m gaga about a guy I love spoiling him when it comes to gifts and I have a knack for getting guy gifts right. I have even purchased Denver Broncos paraphernalia for a former flame, I was just that excited to give someone I loved something they would love. Stellar mixed tapes? Your favorite baked goods? Tickets to that random band that we both secretly love? Something dirty that I won’t go into detail about because my mom and aunts read this? Better believe I have every base covered. I usually have these gifts all ready to go by the beginning of December and it’s pure torture trying to keep quiet about them!

So how does one keep from getting the single girl holiday blues? Well, for one, don’t sit at home watching Love Actually on repeat (just trust me on this one, it will do nothing but make you a puffy-eyed mess). Focus on what you do have- good family, good friends, and a good social calendar! Get to planning a fabulous holiday outing for you and your fellow single pals. Celebrate the fact that, while you may not have everything you want in your life- like someone to kiss under mistletoe or watch Meet Me in St. Louis with or put together ridiculously large Christmas gifts for- you have plenty to be thankful for. And, if all else fails, in my experience you rely heavily on boozey eggnog, enjoy absurd amounts of whipped cream on pumpkin pie, and use the money you would have spent on a significant other’s present to treat yo self to the new boots you’ve been eyeing and maybe a nice hot stone massage. And, if even that fails to make you appreciate the holiday spirit in a single state, then you have my permission to watch Love Actually on repeat…or at least, watch this part of it:hugh-grant-dancing-o

You’re welcome. AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Home

Today marks five months since my move to Kansas City. Those months have absolutely flown by, but at the same time, I feel like I’ve been here forever.

About a month ago I went back to Denver for the first time. I couldn’t believe how many people, in KC and Denver, told me I would probably get there, realize how much I missed it, and not want to come back to KC. And, I will admit, I had been victim to that same thought briefly. What if I got to Denver and realized I made a huge mistake? Honestly, I was a more than a little stressed on the flight back to my old stomping grounds.

Turns out I had nothing to worry about. As much as I miss people there (AND I DO!) and as much fun as I had there, by the time my plane touched down in KC on Sunday night all I felt was happy to be back home.

I know, I know. How could I be excited to be living in KC after spending seven years in Denver? PLENTY of people I’ve met here have asked me that. In fact, I’m so sick of people asking me that I’ve taken to telling people I moved here from Arizona (no offense, Arizona, I’m sure you’re wonderful). But, as much as I hate the question, I do my best to answer it. Of course, my first answer is being close to family, because that is huge. But, here are a few more reasons…

Relaxing in the backyard after work… 1005564_10101031980809173_255501310_n

Sundays spent in the River Market…1185322_10101159805597273_1203213399_n1236590_10101159802718043_517193990_nOr Sundays spent here…1231514_10101184119167683_19158324_n66770_10101249484020993_1374367575_nOr Friday nights spent here…photo-7With these ladies…1238723_10101192263281813_436500303_nBecause on Friday nights they have these…164263_10101090302127783_1497430801_nAlso on Friday nights? Food trucks…944738_10101113076118523_736335578_nAnd speaking of food…1237003_10101157750685333_578817616_nOf course, to work it all off, I have to go to the gym in the mornings, which always has a great view of this…1004913_10101121113596353_199272508_nOther great views near me?Country_Club_Plaza_2_Kansas_City_MOEven on a rainy day it looks pretty damn good…photo 2And you know I have to love a place with a library like this…Kansas-City-Public-Library-Missouri_2And music like this just blocks from where I live…photo-6

And gorgeous art a few blocks the other way…??????????And where I live? No words for walking down my block yesterday and seeing this…photo-9So yeah, me and Kansas City are doing alright. I can’t wait for the next five months…and many more to come after that.1230082_10101171375366363_56740885_n