Ghosts of Valentine’s Past

Here’s a brief history of my Valentine’s Days in years past…

At first, they started out well enough. Cute card holders made out of shoe boxes filled with notes from classmates in grade school followed by a high school boyfriend who always made sure I was well taken care of in the flowers and tokens of love department. In fact, he even saved his first “I love you” for the holiday and it was rather swoon worthy.

But then it turns into this…

On again, off again boyfriend conveniently making sure we were off again every time the holiday rolled around so he could go off and be debaucherous at a Valentine’s rugby tournament.

A boyfriend ditching me on the dreaded day and leaving me to fetch popsicles and throat lozenges for myself while I had a wicked case of strep so he didn’t risk infecting himself. (But later buying me slippers as a make-up Valentines present. SLIPPERS!)

A guy I had been seeing for about six weeks texting me “Have a good V-day.”

The Ex giving me a great gift and taking me to a romantic dinner…only to drop the “I need some time to think about us” bomb two days later thus negating all romance and making me realize the fancy sushi dinner was more of a way to ease his guilt for my impending heartbreak and the great gift of Glee DVD’s way less thoughtful and more to give me something to do while I spent three days straight crying on the couch.

Yes, Valentine’s is a rather corporate and consumer based holiday and I really shouldn’t give a shit about that day not being anything special for me in the last, ohhhh, 13 years, but I really am a romantic and do love the idea of taking one day out of the year to show someone how much they mean to you. And it’s not a one sided thing. With the three guys I was in fairly serious “adult” relationships with, yes, even the on again, off again one, I always found some way to get Valentine’s Day just right for them. Favorite baked goodies, club seats to basketball games, sexy coupons, and cards filled with sweet sentiments. I truly believe one of my great gifts in life is being able figure out the perfect, thought filled gifts for the man in my life and damnit if I didn’t go out of my way to make their days special, so why isn’t my day ever special as well?!

And you may wonder why I’m writing about this damn holiday a week early. Well, let me tell you, it’s not because I will be busy on the actual day (unless you count me making soup for one and cuddling with Mr. Squiggles while watching blood soaked horror movies). This year is actually totally different for me. Even in years past when I wasn’t “in a relationship”, there was always some guy on the scene around this time of year. This year? NONE. And I can’t say I’m necessarily complaining about that. Between all the time I’ve been logging in the gym and getting ready to move (yes, move! More to come on that soon though.) and a lot of misses with the whole online experiment, dating hasn’t exactly been a priority lately. Still, it’s just a little…weird, to have NO guys on the burner. I suppose on the bright side, there’s no possibility of being let down by said man, but on the down side, it does ruin all hope that maybe, just maybe, this will be the year where my streak of shitty love days is ruined and flowers magically appear at my office because yes, even after all these years of letdowns, I still hold out hope that this ridiculous holiday will be Nicholas Sparks worthy (or even E.L. James worthy. What? TMI? Too bad!).

I suppose until that happens though, the best I can do is make the holiday special for myself, which probably means I should stop myself from eating soup for one and cuddling my imaginary cat and start with something a little more interesting. Perhaps a present to myself. Perhaps something along the lines of this…CollagesYep, there’s no amount of failed Valentine’s Days that a great gaggle of bearded guys can’t cure.

So dear readers, if you too are suffering from a lack of rom-com worthy romance in your life treat yourself to some peanut butter froyo and delight in my mass of men and believe that the romance is out there finding it’s way to you.

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