This Secret Sunday is dedicated to my foray into internet dating. Yes, after many, MANY people have attempting to talk me into this, I have finally given in. I finally put on my big girl pants and figured nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? So, why not. Why not put my personal business out there and see what happens. The worst case scenario is I end up kidnapped and turned into a skin suit (yes, my mind has the capacity to go to some scary places when I am trying to talk myself out of doing something) and the best case is I meet a halfway normal, upstanding gentleman and I enter back into the world of the dating. Given, it’s not exactly how I wanted to meet said upstanding gentleman. I had more romantic notions of meeting someone in a bookstore or grocery store and bonding over going for the last copy of Gillian Flynn’s latest book or a box of Chebe gluten free pizza crusts and then being wooed and courted in a rather romantic fashion, and yes, so maybe I have been picturing Mark Darcy or Matthew Crawley while imaging this, but still… I had a vision in my head of how I wanted my dating life to go, and maybe it was a rather BBC influenced version, but weeding through emails and winks just wasn’t how I ever imagined it. But, growing up is all about learning that things don’t always go as you plan them to and unless I want to be a cat lady who only has date nights with the men of BBC, then maybe weeding through emails from potential beaus (or weirdos) isn’t the worst thing in the world…
In any case here are my initial inner thoughts (and I do mean initial, less than 24 hours type initial) on the world of online dating.
1. Winking is for wankers.
I’m sorry, but the whole winking thing is about as cool as being poked by someone on Facebook, and that’s not cool at all. I’ve been on the site for about 7 hours and there’s already 31random guys virtually closing one eyelid at me (which is what I think of people winking at me in real life. It just isn’t a sexy act to me).
2. Some people clearly do not know that less is more.
Do I need your whole life story in your About Me statement? No. Leave a little something to the imagination, folks!
3. Posting pictures with old girlfriends.
4. Grammar/spelling snobs make for the worst online daters.
I very nearly wanted to make my headline, “If you can’t spell and form a sentence, please do not make contact with me!” but then I realized that was a little over the top. But, 12 messages in and over a third of them even look like they are comprised of something other than English. You could be Tom Hardy and it’s likely I wouldn’t reply to a message like that. (Okay, well that’s a blatant lie. If it was Tom Hardy and if in some ridiculous, crazy alternate universe he were seeking me out on a dating website, of course I would reply.)
5. I am a little, just slightly scared.
Online dating always kind of felt like that last resort to me. It wasn’t something I ever wanted to do just for fun, it was more like if I am really ready to see what’s out there and meet someone, maybe I’ll finally do it. So now I’ve done it. And now I am more than a little scared it will result in the same way the rest of my dating attempts have: me still single with my imaginary cat, Mr. Squiggles, watching BBC shows wondering when my Matthew Crawley will come along. Kind of a less than desirable thought, no? But, at the end of the day, it all goes back to that cliche, nothing ventured, nothing gained. If I don’t just suck it up and try something new, than nothing new will ever happen, good or bad. I’m sure, if anything, this will give me plenty of good material for posts here, so stayed tuned, dear readers. More to come in the exciting world of online dating!