When does the one stop being The One?
I’m a firm believer that, in this lifetime, there may be many The One’s. Just the amount of people in this world and how much love a person’s heart has to give and how many different things you can love about different people makes me believe that there must be at least of few of them out there. Whether you end up finding those people or not, well, that’s an entirely different story.
I found one.
But, it didn’t work out. The relationship has been over for some time, but more than once I’ve found myself asking, when does the one stop being The One?
My brain is very smart. My brain knows you don’t love me the way I love you. My brain knows you don’t want to be in a serious relationship and I do. My brain knows that even though people may be perfect for each other things still may not work out, that being perfect for each other just isn’t always enough. Yes, my brain knows these things.
My heart doesn’t seem to be as quick on the uptake though.
What my heart knows is this: The way my stomach still goes on a rollercoaster ride when you sit next to me. The way my face hurts after ten minutes of non-stop laughing when we are texting each other. The way I compare every kiss I’ve had since you to the one you gave me after our first date, the one that melted my entire being.
Of course, my brain wants to slap my heart into reality. Damnit, heart, get it together! Start being a little more logical and a little less fanciful,
Yes, all these feelings are there, and they may be for quite some time, but facts are facts…it didn’t, and won’t, work. There is likely someone out there for both of us that will fit what we both want better than either of us did for each other. I may not love that person as much or as deeply, but, then again, maybe I will. I will love them, and, maybe more importantly, they will love me the way I want to be loved. It’s also fact that after months of not talking, we are finally friends. We can spend ten minutes texting each other and laughing to the point of tears and we can sit next to each other and we can have fun again, and it feels wonderful. And for me, there truly is no expectation that this will ever lead to more again, but there it all is…loitering in the back of my heart…he was The One.
Will these lingering feelings fade with (even more) time? Will they change when I finally meet someone that I don’t compare to you? Or, will they always just linger? A question that no one, not even me, can answer…when will he stop being The One?