Happy Birthday Eve (to me)

In 21 hours and 3 minutes I will be 29 years old.

I’ve stared at that sentence for some time now. 29 years old. Age ain’t nothin but a number, right? Mainly, I’m kind of baffled by the number. 29. How did I get here? It seems only yesterday I was turning 18…21…25…now here I am, creeping into my thirties. But, more important than how I got here is, where am I going?
Birthdays have always been kind of a big deal to me. Not in the sense of parties and presents and wild nights out (although, I am quite fond of those things as well), but because I think of birthdays as a new year of you. A rebirth. A time to figure out what didn’t work in the year past and what you hope to make happen in the year coming. Since 30 is a pretty big deal, I think my “new year of me” goals should be a big deal. So, here they go…

1. Travel solo.
As a single gal, I’ve come a long way in terms of doing things on my own. I can go to dinner, see a movie, even grab a drink at a bar. But, the thought of traveling abroad solo kind of freaks me out. Even just flying in the US to meet up with my sister this last weekend gave me a bit of a panic, because unknown airports can be a tricky thing. Just the thought of layovers in Amsterdam or Madrid have me in a sweat. What if I can’t find anyone speaking English? What if I can’t read the signs or some miscreant steals my passport? It’d probably be a million times easier if I had someone there with me to get through it with. Shit, even past the flying, just getting out of the airports and into a cab or train to my hotel in, say, Florence sounds like something I’d really love to have someone navigate for me! But, then I think about waking up and spending my first morning in Signoria Square and knowing the whole day is for me to enjoy, and in that moment, the stress of getting there would all be worth it.

2. Write everyday… Even if it is just a sentence.
I’ve spent years dreaming up stories, creating funny skits, writing screenplays, but somehow, before anything is ever finished, I stop. I can think of nothing better than someone out there reading something I’ve written and feeling the way I feel when I read some of my favorite authors, so it’s time for me to suck it up and get pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard).

3. Do something that scares me.
A little over two years ago I fell in love. And I fell hard. This was pretty unlike me as I had spent years past being pretty protective of my heart after some severe betrayals. But, something happened, and I just let go. I was scared shitless of being hurt again, but every day I was with him, I let myself fall. Unfortunately for me, I did end up being hurt again. The break up was hard. The days and months and now, almost a year after, has been hard. But, in the end, I was proud of myself for taking the chance. Never will I have to look back and say ‘what if?’ because I was too scared to try. So this year I plan on getting scared all over again. I don’t know if it will be falling in love or jumping out of a plane or taking that trip to Italy by myself, but it will be something. And if even if I fall flat on my face (though, hopefully not if it’s the skydiving I end up choosing…I would hope for a more gentle fall…) I will once again be able to look back and high five myself for saying ‘fuck it, let’s do it’.

There’s plenty of little things I could add on here; run a 10k, drive to the Grand Canyon, be more giving, go on a fantastic first date, learn to make sushi, etc etc, but those are the big three to do before I turn the big 3-0.

Of course, birthdays aren’t all for serious reflection time, they are also for this…


One thought on “Happy Birthday Eve (to me)

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